An Arm Lift Can Banish Bingo Wings From Your Arms
Bingo wings, n: A condition of saggy skin among older people and those who have lost a lot of weight. Thus named by the unique phenomenon where someone’s aunt wins at bingo and throws her arms up in the air, thus flapping her bingo wings. Also known as bat wings, loose hammocks, auntie arms, nanna wobble, fadoobadas or nan flaps.
“Bingo wings” refers to a condition that no one wants to talk about. It happens to folks who get up in years, or people who have just lost a serious amount of weight. It can also be hereditary, among those who have the “bingo wing gene.”
Bingo wings are unattractive and make you feel like your body is older than it should be. They also give you a sense of disappointment after losing all that weight and still being plagued with wobbly, floppy fadoobadas. Often the condition is seen among teachers that becomes a source of laughter among school children.
There are a few options to deal with them. You can exercise them off. Many have tried this, and achieved a great muscle tone UNDERNEATH the wings. No, the wings won’t go away that easily. Another option is the obvious choice: Liposuction. But, nanna wobble is caused by excess skin, not fat. This means that liposuction won’t get rid of them.
The option that really works is a surgical procedure called an arm lift. Technically, this is called “brachioplasty.” It means making an incision just under the arm, and removing excess skin and tissue. The surgeon will often tighten the tissue underneath to ensure that the bingo wings will not appear again.
Bingo wings are not permanent. Talk to a plastic surgeon for a consultation, but be aware that bingo wing removal is a serious operation. It’s not as big a deal as liposuction or a face lift, but it will leave scars and will require a recovery period.
A skilled surgeon can hide the scars, but they can’t be hidden completely. This is the trade-off of a brachioplasty, and it means that you should only choose this option if your bat wings are really bothering you. You can always take a look at a surgeon’s past work to check out their aesthetic skills.
Having said that, brachioplasty is one of the simplest and quickest plastic surgery procedures. It takes just a couple of hours and uses only local anesthetic. After the operation, you will have to take it easy for awhile. This is very unfortunate, but you will not be able to do any lifting. No heavy work around the house, and that means that your spouse or family must do all the hard labor.
During your recovery period, follow the doctor’s instructions carefully. They may recommend that you spend some time each day with your arm propped up on a pillow. Several hours is a terribly long stretch to relax with your arm propped on a pillow, so you might have to find some new TV shows or sports to watch. It’s not easy.
You will have to take painkillers for a few days, and in 2 to 3 weeks you should get back to normal. You may have to hold off on any hard lifting for a few weeks longer, and you can probably beg a few more weeks off if you play your cards right and tell your spouse, “The doctor said so.”
The first step is to find a doctor who has experience doing arm lifts and go to them for a consultation. Be sure to ask plenty of questions, and look at samples of their past work. A successful arm lift is your only way to banish bingo wings forever!